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14 hilarious, fitting and fun names ostomates gave to their stomas. - OstomyConnection

14 hilarious, fitting and fun names ostomates gave to their stomas.

Let's be honest, one of the best things about an ostomy is getting to name it.
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We hear this question over and over and over...

The names you guys come up with are hands down the BEST, and the reasons are even better! Without further ado, here are 14 hilarious, fitting and fun names for a stoma.

1. Poopapalooza

“Poopa for short. My doctors think I'm insane when I start telling them about Poopa and how she misbehaves. The way it just starts flowing reminds me of a volcano, I also thought I'd name her LavaLoo.” – Shelley N.

Shelley has a colostomy because of rheumatoid arthritis, an autoimmune disorder not in her joints, it affects weakened organs.

2. Nope

“When it gets loud and someone says to me, was that you? I say, Nope. That way I'm not lying.” – Tim W.

Tim had a temporary colostomy in an emergency surgery due to a ruptured diverticulitis in the descending colon.

3. Louis Vuitton

"If you're gonna have a bag, it may as well be a designer!” – Nicki J.

Nicki has a permanent ileostomy because of fistulizing Crohn's disease.

4. Politician

“I was going to name mine after a specific politician but didn't feel like getting into fights over it, so I just call it 'Politician'... because it's either full of crap or making a lot of noise and not producing a damn thing.” – Pete N.

Pete had a colon resection because of diverticulitis. He became septic due to complications and now lives with a Hartman’s colostomy.

5. Josephine

“After the old TV commercials with Josephine the plumber. She took care of plumbing problems, and my Josephine takes care of my plumbing problems!” – Midge S.

Midge has a urostomy because of bladder cancer.

6. Florence

“Flo for short… because the bitch never stops.” – Cheryl F.

Cheryl has an ileostomy and short bowel syndrome because of Crohn’s disease.

7. Igor

“When I found out my bladder had to be removed, it felt like I was living in a bad 1950s horror movie. In those days, Igor was always the lab assistant to a villain doctor trying to create life.” – Liz

Liz has a urostomy because of bladder cancer.

8. Baghdad

“Cos it's a bag and I’m a dad.” – Stuart S.

Stuart has a permanent colostomy because of bowel cancer.

9. Piter

“Which is shortened from ‘pain in the arse’. Because it has always done the opposite of what it needs to do and misbehaves. Due to being around my son and others I couldn't use the full name, so it was shortened.” – Zoi K.

Zoi has an ileostomy because of multiple illnesses including Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, Autonomic Neuropathy and Gastroparesis.

10. Margarita

My stoma nurse kept referring to ostomy appliances. Appliances made me think of a blender, and the only good use of a blender is for making margaritas.” – Sherri R.

Sherri had a temporary ileostomy because of a bowel resection due to Crohn’s disease.

11. Cornholio

“Corn blocks me up, but I'm a redneck and keep eating it.” – Amanda T.

Amanda has a colostomy because of bowel function loss from brain damage she suffered in a car accident.

12. Little Gremlin

“Since I never know when it will be mischievous.” – Brenda M.

Brenda lived with a J-pouch since 1985 because of ulcerative colitis. During her gallbladder surgery in 2014, hernia mesh complications were found which led to a permanent ileostomy.

13. Thelma and Louise

"I had two!! They are always on the run. I bid farewell to Thelma, but Louise is my life-long girl." – Brandi T.

Brandi was a double ostomate because of stage 3b colon cancer that spread to her rectum. The ileostomy was reversed and she now lives with a colostomy.

14. BOSS

“If you’re a newbie, you will soon find out why... hahaha.” – Avis T.

Avis has a colostomy because of a perforated bowel that caused sepsis.

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