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Ever experienced ostomy panic? That’s when an ostomate has sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety, often causing wildly unthinking behavior. Just kidding, we made that up.

One of our readers wrote about a “situation” that you might relate to. It has to do with her husband, some ostomy supplies, and an adrenaline rush. This hilarious story will have you laughing for days! 

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I snapped at my husband.

Last week my supplies came in. Being the procrastinator that I am, I left the box unpacked in the kitchen.

Fast forward... I take a nekkid shower using up all the hot water. I'm taking my time drying off, wondering how long I can go without putting a new bag on. I start to gather up my supplies and realize the box is still in the kitchen. I'm all about living dangerously, so I tiptoe into the kitchen nekkid, but there's no box. The box is gone. GONE.

I start yelling for my husband. He's outside playing with the dogs. I call his cell phone.

"Where did you put that box that was in the kitchen?"

"What box?"

"My box of supplies."

"There wasn't any box in the kitchen."

That's when panic set in. You see, the day before, my husband took his weekly trip to the recycling center. He gathers up all the cardboard in the house and takes it to the center. My box was next to our recycling bins in the kitchen. That's when I lost it.

"You get in this house and find that box! You better not have dropped off $600 worth of ostomy supplies at the recycling center!!!" I screamed, as I ran to hide my nekkid self in the bathroom before he could open the back door.

A few minutes later, he showed up at the door with a bag of wound care supplies.

"No, no, no. It was a box full of brand new poop-bags."

Him: "There was no box."

"For all that is holy, you go find that box."

I'm now looking at a zip-loc bag and duct tape, wondering if this could be MacGyvered into something.

Another tap at the door.

Him: "I found your box in the guest bedroom."

"How did it end up there?"

Him: "I put it in there when I was cleaning yesterday."

I have no idea how he moved a large box clear across the house and put it in a closet... and had no memory of it less than 24-hours later!

I love that man, but that was an adrenaline rush I did not need. And after all that, I opened the box to find they sent the wrong size pre-cuts!!! Pinch me so I can wake-up from this nightmare!!! 😂

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She lost us at… “when I was cleaning.” OMG, he cleans?! LOL

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